UNITED CHINESE ALUMNI ASSOCIATIONS

 

Parenting Workshop: Parents, Please Listen! Teens Speak Out!

Is it difficult for you to talk with your teenagers?

Are you frustrated when you can’t get your point across to them?

What are the top ten things teenagers wish their parents knew about them?


If you are experiencing similar frustrations or struggles, you are not alone!

      Come join us for the Parents, Please Listen! Teens Speak Out Workshop, led by seven ABC teen students  from six different high schools:
  • Lynbrook High, Saratoga High, Gunn High, Leland high, Fremont High, King's Academy

    They will honestly share their views, feelings and from their own experiences to help break down the communication barrier between parents and their children. 

    We are honored to have Amy Liu, the Families and Kids' Director at the Home Church, hosting this workshop. Growing up as a 2nd generation Asian American in the US, she has served as a youth counselor in various organizations and has a desire to see bridges of understanding built in Asian families.

When: 03/27/2010 Saturday, 10:00AM to 12:00PM
Where:
1799 Winchester Boulevard, Campbell, CA 95008
Languge: Mix of Engliash and Chinese

    To encourage parent participation, we will have a Q&A session to allow for interaction between both parents and youth speakers.

Space is limited!
Please RSVP to Sherry at: xiaoruit@gmail. com by March 20, 2010.

*Please note: this seminar is intended for parents only (who have middle school and high school students)
*Free childcare is offered - please RSVP!

北加州中国高校校友会联合会,上海交大硅谷校友会,北加州河南同乡会联合主办



The coming seminar is all filled up already. Here is some prep emails sent by our organizer Xiaorui. Thanks for Xiaorui's hard work on the effort to make the seminar well-prepared.

Please contact Xiaorui to be on the waiting list if you have not signed up yet.

 
---------- 已转发邮件 ----------
发件人: Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>
日期: 2010年3月8日 上午12:07
主题: Re: Thanks for registering 3/27 seminar.

朋友们,

务请3月27日报了名,但不能来参加的朋友通知我,给后边排了waiting list的朋友机会。谢谢。

请会带孩子来的朋友再给我发个Email,讲一下您的孩子几岁。我们正要筹划最合适的professional 给孩子们提供最佳的照顾。

以后几天,我会连续给大家发一些一位来自Gunn High 的小讲员的母亲写的一些和Gunn High的几件自杀事件有关,以及和这位小讲员有关的故事。

                                                     
                                                            孩子,我为你心痛
5/6/2009
 
      昨夜刚下了一场雨,早晨还有点零星的雨滴,天空中有灰色的云朵,空气中飘着五月的花香。这是一个再普通不过的春天里的一天,我照常上班、忙碌, 和孩子道“再见!”,和同事谈论工作。

     傍晚的时分,伊妹儿信箱里连着三封信,一封是我们这个小城的高中校长写的,标题是“悲哀的消息”;另外两封都是学区总监来的“信息”,我点开“悲哀的消息”,上面写着“我很抱歉的和你们分享这个悲哀的消息:今天早晨, 我们高中部的一位同学在学校附近的火车轨道上被撞了,我们深表痛心,希望我们的心底的问候能在这非常困难的时间里给这位同学的家庭和朋友以支撑的力量……”

     我起初只觉得不幸,不幸的事情天天发生,这次只是发生在一个少年身上。可是等我读完学区总监的信息,我慢慢明白这不是一启交通意外,而是一位十六岁的少年人自己了断了他年轻的生命!

     校长的信最后写道:“As you welcome your children home this evening and tell them you love them, I encourage you to talk with them about the importance of letting caring adults in their lives know if they are having problems or are worried about friends who have problems. (今晚当你迎接你的孩子回家时,请告诉他们你们爱她/他。我鼓励你们与他们交通, 让他们知道当他们或他们的朋友有困难时,让关心他们的家人参与他们的生活是多么重要!

     泪水模糊了我的双眼,我心痛着这位少年人的迷失,更心痛着这位少年人父母失去爱子之痛!我虽不知道到底发生了什么,使得一个十六岁的少年选择这么激烈的手段结束自己还没完全绽开花朵般的生命,有什么可以让他鲜活的生命所不堪?我想都不敢想如果把自己放在他母亲的位置上,那怕稍稍往那方面一探,我都觉得撕心裂肺的痛楚!一时间,我眼泪纷飞,语不成句。

     情绪过后,第一件事,就是把儿子叫到身边,促膝谈心,谈谈他的“烦恼”,谈谈我的“关心”。想起前不久读到儿子写的一篇文章,当中他提到他处在“mid-teen crisis”, 我当时还觉得十分可笑,与儿子的爸爸将刚刚进入所谓“teenager”(青少年)十三岁的儿子小小的取笑了一番。现在想来真是不该,在我们大人看的小得如芝麻的少年人的烦恼, 在他们自己看来却是天大一般。所幸,儿子只不过刚刚经历“挺爱绞”的烦恼,而那个十六岁的少年人才真正经历着儿子所说的“青少年中期危机”!儿子的爸爸有点愤怒地抱怨:“他的父母怎么能这样不关心自己孩子的情绪?”几分钟后,大概想起自己儿子也是个内向的孩子,有所原谅地说:“不过,有时真的很难讲,孩子不愿与父母沟通,做父母的也不容易!”

     我和儿子谈了很久,谈了什么,都记不清了,只记得我反反复复地说今后他的人生中会遇到不称心的事,但事过之后,回头看,没有什么事过不去。青少年时期遇到的困难,现在可能觉得不得了,多年以后回想起,可能觉得好笑。我希望他有什么困难和烦恼,能想到和父母交谈,因为我们爱他!永远都是他的依靠!他专心地听着点着头,我让他读学区总监发的信息“it is very, very important that we look out for each other. If you have problems or are worried about a friend, if you know of other students who are dealing with difficult issues, please let a parent, teacher or counselor know. No problem is so big that a solution cannot be found if people ask for help and support.” ( 我们相互间的照看是非常非常重要的。如果你有困难或者担心你的朋友有困难,请让你的父母、老师或者顾问知道。只要我们能寻求帮助和支持,没有解决不了的难题。)

     现代社会都怎么了?十几岁的孩子竟然都不想活!这种事情在中国、日本都有发生,那里的孩子主要面临升学压力,这种事情在美国和西方社会也时有发生,只是还没有发生在我的周围,这是第一次!我从没有被如此震动过。

     我们这个小城因为好学区闻名,我们所属的这所高中,在全美高中排名前八十名之内,城中两所高中,另外一所高中近年已有两位高中学生选择同样的方式:卧轨自杀。今天两个月前,我所在的教会小组还去过这所高中为学校祷告,记得当时有位兄弟还提到高中生自杀的事情,没想到,没多久,这样的悲剧又一次的发生!

     十六个春夏秋冬之后,就决定结束一切,再也没有了那将来长长的充满酸甜苦辣的人生!他还有多少美好没有经历,还有多少爱恋 没有尝试,多少世界没有看过,怎能如此轻易放手?! 我真的好心痛,为了这个还没真正长成大男人的孩子!

 

        Palo Alto的几起高中生自杀事件是我们这次讲座的最初起因之一。记得当时我召集了一些teenager的母亲们一起有个午餐meeting。大家只是感叹,没有什么结论。然后,我和我16岁的儿子一起筹划了EQ讲座。我们母子又参加了一系列的EQ课程。在去年11月EQ课的最后一堂,他说,他愿意和其他teenager的父母分享他个人的想法。

      一月初,和一位朋友分享这个主意后,朋友直埋怨我,我们应该早点办这样的活动:不论对家长,还是对孩子都是件很有意义的事。我们立刻行动。小讲员的挑选很简单:我们俩家那两天最早,随机遇到的朋友的孩子。
只有Gunn High 是我们一定要有的。而这位在Gunn High的高中生则完全是随机问到的。

     我这几天读了这位妈妈以前写的博文,我心里很高兴他其实是这次讲座最佳的人选。

     我们更是荣幸能请到Amy 这样有过这些ABC们同样经历,和他们有同样背景的年轻辅导员来带这次讲座。

    愿上帝祝福这次讲座,祝福这些小讲员们,祝福他们的父母,祝福每一个来这次讲座的父母们!

愿上帝祝福Amy, 祝福Amy的父母 (上过EQ课的朋友们: AMY 就是EQ课的讲员的女儿)

晓瑞

010/3/6 Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>
 

       已经是八年级的学生了,还被老师time out了,妈妈看到了,心里怎么感觉? 这位teenager又怎么面对妈妈呢?美国老师的反应却大大出乎妈妈的意料。

                                                          不乖

记得那是在初中7-8年纪吧, 有一天我休息, 就到他们学校去办件事. 好像去交个什么表.

到了学校, 正是上课时间, 学校里静悄悄的.

在往办公室走的途中, 发现一个学生在教室外门口晃游, 我还想呢, 这孩子一定是干什么事了, 被老师TIME OUT 了.

仔细一看, 天啊, 那是我们家老大!!

我, 我, 吃惊, 气愤, 连忙奔过去: 怎么回事? 怎么回事? 你怎么在这站着?!

老大看到我, 也吃了一惊: 我就是接老师的话巴, 所以就老师TIME OUT 了.

接老师的话巴就被TIME OUT ? 我怎么可能相信!! 一定是干了什么让老师忍无可忍的事!

我气急败坏, 对他吼着: 你给我在这等着, 等我去OFFICE交完表, 就去找你们老师问问! 问清楚了, 看我怎么收拾你!

等我交完表回来, 老大告诉我: 刚才老师让一个同学叫我回教室去, 我没跟他回去!

WHY?

老大: 我跟同学说, 我不进去, 我妈妈说了, 让我在这等着她, 我们要一块找老师谈!

天啊, 我哭笑不得.

下课了, 我和老大进了教室, 见到老师, 我想老师会严肃的告诉我他为什么TIME OUT 吧.

不想, 还没等我开口, 老师就说了: 啊, 他是一个很踊跃的学生, 刚才大家课堂讨论, 他没在, 我们都很MISS他......没关系, 很多孩子都会这样, 不是什么大不了的事......

我, 我目瞪口呆, 本想弄清他为什么被TIME OUT, 期待着老师的抱怨, 没成想, 却被老师安慰一番.

百思不得其解, 回家的路上, 看到老大狡猾的笑容, 我明白了, 一定是他利用了我的态度, 给老师传达了一个又信息:

请我回去? 没那么容易, 我妈妈说了, 让我在这等她, 我们一起和老师谈!

当时心里的滋味, 五味具全, 不知道该说什么好!


其实,很多事没什么大不了的。 我们中国父母有很多要学习的。
这位“狡猾”又调皮的老大即将进入大学校门。他今天已成了他所在的学校和父母的骄傲。

别忘了来3/27的讲座。这几个小讲员都很普通,也都很特别。


Xiaorui Sherry Wang

2010/3/4 Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>

 

朋友们,

不管孩子长到多大,儿女都是妈妈心中的宝贝。女儿十五岁了,请读这位妈妈的心。
 

                           十五岁的青春 - 女儿篇


 
女儿,夜已经很深,我走过你熟睡的床边,把滑落在地上的毯子拾起来,为你重新盖好。 

   我静静地站在那里,端详你沉静又安宁的睡姿,不忍马上离去。小台灯昏暗的光线,照在你清纯柔和的脸上,显得那么地文静和安宁,和白天活力四射的你相比,简直判若两人。你均匀地一呼一吸着,那种毫无戒备的睡相,纯真又傻气。我叹一口气,关掉台灯,顺便带上了你的门。

   坐在电脑前面,手里虽然敲打着字,我脑海里却是乱麻一团。写了许多,又慢慢删除,来回往复,自己都不知道在写什么。写你,远不如写我的父亲和我自己来得那么顺手顺心,水到渠成。(作者先写了她父亲和自己的故事)

   我和我父亲的青春,是似水的流年,那一步一个脚印的足迹,离不开几千年中国传统道德观念的承袭。我的青春年代,走得比我父亲平坦幸福,我知道,那是因为我长在了新中国,也是因为我继承了他的风骨。即使后来我飘洋过海,在这个异国他乡已经生活了将近二十年,而且有可能余生都将在这里扎根生存,可我还是不得不说,我仍然都是地地道道的中国人,我的心里永远装着那块热土。我别无选择。

   你的青春是绝然不同的。虽然你也是黄皮肤,黑眼睛,在家吃妈妈烧的中国菜,偶尔也会讲几句中国话,可是,你所接受的教育和价值观,是和美利坚这块土地紧紧相连的,你所受的教育是美国式的。你是一个完完全全的美国女孩。

   女儿,你已经十五岁了,你的这个中国妈妈,该怎样来写你呢?当年,我的父亲对我“忆苦思甜”苦口婆心,我脸上毫不掩饰的不屑告诉他,那又怎样呢?难道也让我像他那样,再体会一次贫困的苦难?是的,那个年龄,我无法理解父亲,心里也责怪他同样无法体谅到我成长的困惑无奈。今天,同样,在我质问你何为你的前途的时候,你脸上的无动于衷让我看见了当年父亲悲凉的心情。

   对错不能由人而定,好在我是一个有信仰的人,我也祷告,希望你活在基督的爱里面,让我们母女的生命都有共同的成长。因为《圣经》里面有说道:

 “我赐给你们一条新命令,乃是叫你们彼此相爱。我怎样爱你们,你们也要怎样相爱。”(约1334);

 “要殷勤教训你的儿女。无论你坐在家里,行在路上,躺下,起来,都要谈论。”( 6:7)

 “教养孩童,使他走当行的道,就是到老他也不偏离。”(19:14)

  

   你我是两代人,我们生长的环境和国度都不同。虽然有很多时候我并不是能够读懂你,但是,你是我的女儿。我知道,虽然你竭力想挣脱撒欢跑到远离我视线的地方,但是,你终究都在爱我们的神的保护之中,在我的心里不会偏离。叛逆的权利,属于你。我能够做的,就是小心翼翼地呵护你,陪伴你安全度过青春期的艰难,直到你真正地成熟自立。

   记得每次我们吵到没有余地退让的时候,你总是怀疑地质问我:“你为什么要那样要求我?你是不是不爱我?”我告诉你,我爱你,我更担心你,

   “为什么?你太神经过敏了!”因为你是我的女儿,我不得不很好地看顾你,这是我的责任。我要看你快乐和幸福。

   你特立独行的例子几乎天天都有,我的脑筋已经记不过来。就说眼前的两个例子吧。

   星期五下午接到你的电话,说让我先不要着急去学校接你回家,因为你有重要的事情要处理。我忙问什么事,你说你的写作课只得了一个“B”,你要去老师那里讨回一个“A”。我提醒你,老师判分自有她的道理,你应该检讨自己哪里不足之处,怎么可以左右老师的判断能力?

   你在电话那头大声地说:“噢,相信我。我的写作一定是‘A’。我确信她一定是写错了。”

   好吧,我随你。晚上回家,你不住地在学校网站上浏览你成绩表的变化,结果那个“B”始终挂在那里不动。临睡觉前,你突然叫我快来看。我一看,只见在写作一栏上,“B”已经消失,代替它的,是醒目的粗体字:A!看来,你的老师也知道,不给你改过来,她也睡不好踏实觉。

   星期六的晚上,我中途从朋友的聚会中回家,为的是要送你到另一个同学家开的的生日舞会。当你得知这个舞会是着装舞会的时候,我又带着你到同学家去借礼服和鞋子。你和同学在屋里换来换去,忙碌得不亦乐乎,又是化妆又是拉直头发。。。我不得不等在外面。可是后来,打扮光鲜亮丽的你们,却不忙着赶赴舞会,反而坐在屋里看电视打发时间,让我很不可思议。

 
   我催促你们快点走,可是你们说:“我们穿的那么漂亮,要是第一个赶去了,就没有人注意我们的漂亮了,所以,决不能那么早就去开门。我们一定要等所有的人都到齐了,才敲门进去,那样的效果会让所有人大吃一惊的。”

 
   “可是,妈妈也有一个朋友聚会正在进行,大家也在那头等着我呀?我把你们送去舞会,然后赶过去,妈妈的聚会就来不及了呀。”我看着表,已经过了一个多小时了。

 
   “可是,你的聚会有那么重要吗?你们不就是坐在那里吃饭说话吗?你又不漂亮,会有谁在意你吗?”

   。。。。。。

    在你还是一个小女孩的时候,所有见过你的朋友,都是用一个词语来形容你:楚楚可怜。在我的梦中,总是有这样一个镜头时常出现:我紧紧牵着你的小手,走在人群熙攘的街上,突然,我把你这个小人儿弄丢了,再怎么找,也找不回你。我在梦中哭喊,奔跑,角角落落遍寻,也不见你的影子,于是,我就疯了。。。直到哭醒,心中仍然伤痛不已。

   我只想告诉你,这种爱,没有东西可以拿来比,我爱你胜过我的生命,即使我为你失去自己的生命。

   读不懂,也要读,再艰难,也要读,爱是恒久忍耐,是盼望,是包容,爱是因为我是你的母亲。

您是不是有着和这位母亲一样的心? 记着来3/27的讲座,见见这位母亲,听听这个女儿是怎样看她的妈妈的。

Xiaorui Sherry Wang

 
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>
 

在中学生眼中,谈朋友是一个很普通的事。对我们中国人父母呢?如果你的孩子小小年纪就谈恋爱,你能接受吗?你会是怎样的反应呢?下面的博文是我们中间的一位母亲和她儿子一起写的。
 
                                                    和少年人谈“爱情”

 

 

    兒子從小到大一直是個非常乖的孩子,可以說非常听話,偶爾有點“陽奉陰違”也大多是玩電玩玩得太過沉迷。從初中到高中,四年以來,在一個競爭激烈的學區和學校里,他一直是全A學生,唯一的一次,拿了個A-, 我們沒有任何意見,他自己卻耿耿于懷,好久還會提起,說他若怎樣怎樣了,就不會有那個刺眼的一橫。平日里,兒子和我出外,小時候,大多我摟著他的肩,如今長高過了我,媽媽和兒子通常會手挽著手,別人看見都說我們母子情深,我也以此為榮。兒子一直是我的驕傲! 

    這樣的乖孩子,初中八年級一場戀愛,竟也會和我吵得“天翻地覆”。如果,你讀過我寫的那個“與兒子約會”系列,你應該可以看出我並不是一個極力反對孩子談戀愛的父母,相反,我會引導他該如何尊重女孩子,怎樣在男女約會中展示他的禮儀和修養。可是,孩子感情的飛速發展,做父母的永遠跟不上,而且,對于同一件事情不同兩代人的相異理解,造成了我們母子當時發生沖突的主要原因。

          記得,有一天,孩子的爸爸去接兒子和女兒從學校回家,半路上,兒子要求爸爸把他送到一個地方,因為女孩子在那里等他要給他一樣東西,爸爸忙不迭地把兒子送到那里,自己和女兒坐在車上等候,老爸比較老實,等便乖乖地等在那里,自己坐在車上看報紙; 機靈的女兒便沒有那麼老實,悄悄地尾隨哥哥下車,看到遠處一個女孩子飛奔過來,一下子就抱住她哥哥,馬上跑回車上告訴老爸︰“爹地,哥哥和那個女生在Hug(擁抱)。”爸爸大概那一刻頭腦也不好使, 竟然不知道說什麼好。回到家里,便把這件事對我說了,我于是決定找兒子談談男女朋友間這種戀情的深淺問題。沒想到,一觸即發,也許那天我第一次听到這種消息的時候挺擔心的語氣中諸多責備,也許兒子正處在亢奮的頂端, 听不得半點意見。平生第一次,我對他大喊,他對我大叫,我們母子一下子成了“敵人”,老爸把兒子硬拉回他自己的房間,關上門回頭來勸幾乎崩潰的我冷靜點兒,不到一分鐘,女兒跑進她哥哥的房間,又急急地跑過來對我們說︰“哥哥不見了!”。我們過去一看,他房間的窗子大開,他越窗而出了。 

    我簡直不敢相信自己的眼楮!這是我那乖巧的兒子嗎?這是我那一向人見人夸的兒子嗎?做爸爸的打兒子的手機,他接了電話,說︰“太憋悶了,出去走走,一會兒就回來!”

 

     雖說那天兒子回來之在爸爸引導下我們繼續就那件事談得很平靜,雖說兒子在爸爸的勸說下也向我道歉他的態度問題,我還是心里有了個大疙瘩,不久,就去他的學校,找到他的學術心理輔導員,和一個有著幾十年豐富經驗即將退休的輔導員談了一個鐘頭。 在那次談話中,我了解到,青少年生長發育期,有時會變得情緒不穩定,他們需要的是父母的理解和關心,輔導員對我“有種失去乖兒子”的感覺笑著安慰我“給他一點時間,他又會變回到你的乖兒子。”耐心和愛心,是我從那次談話中得到的啟示。做父母的沒有不愛孩子的,只是這種愛心不能只從父母的角度出發,很多時候需要站在孩子的立場上才能理解他們的心。

 

        兒子的初戀無疾而終。我還沒來得及高興,他又陷入另一段感情之中。第二段感情中的女生暗戀他很久,他知道她喜歡他還是他第一個女朋友對他說的,也許失戀的空落使得他很快地陷入一個真心喜歡他的女孩子的情感中,總之,他收拾起心情又和這個女孩子攪在了一起。那本是一個讀書的讀的也不錯的孩子,交往一段時間,兒子的功課沒有受到絲毫的影響,但似乎那個女孩子成績有所下降,女孩兒家教也很嚴,開始限制課後滯留在校的時間,兩個人相處的時間的減少,很快又一段感情面臨著結束的命運。

 

         兒子這次好多了,消沉了兩天就又生龍活虎的了。我和他談起這種沒有結果的早戀,想讓他自己感覺是否有浪費時間的意思?他卻說從每段關系中,他都學到點東西,似乎他並沒有得到我想要他的學到的東西。但是,無論如何,從中,我和他到確實都學到某些東西,至少,我們母子倆現在可以很平靜地談論他和女生之間的種種,他會告訴我他喜歡什麼樣的女孩子;舞會上,哪些女孩子和他跳舞等等這種話題。

 

    對我要求他高中還有三年半,可不可以專心讀書,考上大學再找個好女孩?他總是大笑幾聲,對我說︰“Okay, 媽媽,你別擔心,我如果功課掉下來,你再擔心也不遲。這種事情,發生了就發生了,什麼時候不是我能控制的。”那種口氣和我年少時幾乎一模一樣,我想起我高中時和一位讀大學的鄰居哥哥通信的情景,和我老爸像捉迷藏一樣的收發信件,唉!也許沒有什麼必要太過操心?可是,我又想,我們那時除了通通信,什麼都不會做的,可現在的孩子完全不一樣啊!什麼都敢做!和兒子也談過男女之間戀愛的程度問題,兒子倒是對我這麼說︰“hug(擁抱)一下,沒有關系啊,普通朋友也會擁抱的嗎?其它,我知道分寸的。”真的嗎?我心里不以為然。幾天前,下雨天我去學校接放學回家的一對兒女,坐在後座的女兒問她哥哥︰“你見過六年級的男生和女生在學校里kiss嗎?”,哥哥回答︰“沒有。六年級?不大會吧?”女兒說︰“我今天看到兩個六年級的男女生,在走廊上Kiss了。”哥哥接著問︰“Just kiss? Or French Kiss?”我開車的方向盤差點沒歪過去!

 

    兒子即將參加一個青少年和父母溝通的演講會,這段時間,幾位青少年和帶領他們的專家輔導員常常聚會談論演講會的議題。 在家里,我也和兒子談論我們做父母的和他在溝通上所存在的問題,我建議他寫一篇他對他前兩次早戀之後的感想,並說說我們對他這種事情反映所對他造成的影響,正面的和負面的都可以,最主要是誠實地說出他的想法,他被我催了好幾次,才勉強寫了下面的文章,寫好用郵件的方式傳給我,對我說︰“ I don’t want to talk about my writing at this time. Just for you to read.” (我不想談論我寫的,只是給你看看的。)

 

   他開始把標題命名為“另一種愛︰愛情”,後來又改成“需要雙方的努力才能成事”,可見的他內心深處對我們當時的舉動還是有所微詞的,我也能體會到自己為人父母中的探索和掙扎,而做得不當的地方肯定是不少。從他的文章中,我看到,少年人對愛情的理解還是膚淺的,對道義和責任還沒有感受到,完全憑著一腔熱情,听憑情感的帶領,把愛情完全解釋成“感覺”是很多人在人生的最初階段的認識,我們年輕的時候不也說“愛情是心靈的踫撞!”,“只可意會不可言傳”嗎?然後經過歲月和生活的磨礪之後,我們體會到,愛情中還有更多的責任和道義,“愛是恆久忍耐”!但是,認識到這一步的愛,是需要時間和經歷的。

 

   給孩子時間吧,相信他,有一天會明白!

 

It Takes Two to Make a Thing go Right 

            Love; one word that means the whole world to some, and absolutely nothing to others. Love. What is it? That I cannot answer, no one can. It is a feeling without explanation, a bittersweet feeling that has no words to describe it. It takes up a different part of each of our hearts, and it has the ability to make joy, make hate, and change our lives.

             If love is nothing, but yet everything to us, is it fair to restrain us from holding that feeling? As a teenager in high school, I am all too familiar with that question. I hear it repeatedly every day, and of course everyone believes the answer is no. Everyone, it seems, but our parents.

 Many people I know have told me that if they ever got into a relationship, and their parents found out, they would literally die. If their parents were to ever see them just speaking to another person of the opposite sex, they would catch hell because of it. Some pretty tyrannical parents, no? Of course, most parents aren’t actually that extreme, and undoubtedly my classmates over exaggerated when they said their parents would kill them. But it seems that the majority of parents, especially Asian parents, strongly disapprove of boy/girl relationships.

 Why? Maybe our parents are afraid we’ll do something stupid and end up with a bastard baby on our hands. Maybe our parents want us to spend all our time focused on our studies. Maybe our parents just don’t want to see us grow up. Whatever the reason is, teenagers as a whole don’t think that it’s plausible.

 We tend to think negatively of our parents on areas such as this. Sometimes we may even assume that our parents are just mindlessly restricting us for the heck of it. It is here where we are mistaken. A lot of times, we forget how much our parents love us; how they only want what they see is best for us. They may go about it different ways than we would like them to, and sometimes we mistake their love for a disregard of our feelings. But one thing we would do well to remember, is that no matter how much we screw up or how much it seems as if our parents want to hold us back, they do it because they love and care for us.

 This being said, certain issues must still be addressed, the main one being how our parents deal with us and our so-called “puppy love.” The most prominent question among us teenagers is: why is it so wrong for us to feel a physical attraction to another? Many parents answer: there’s nothing wrong, it’s perfectly normal to have a crush on someone at your age. But then when we finally reveal to them that we are indeed attracted to one person in particular, they jump out of their seats and try to talk us out of ever getting any closer to that person. Once again: why? Why can’t we be free to speak and express our feelings to others as we wish?

 Many parents underestimate us, and deprecate us for things we would never even imagine doing. They stress incredibly harshly that we should not get into a relationship of any kind. As said before, they may have justifiable reasons, but in my opinion, there is no reason saying that we absolutely shouldn’t. Most of us won’t go as far as to end up with something on our hands that we can’t handle. We may act dumb sometimes, but teenagers ARE NOT stupid at all. Also, for parents to imply that we are not ready or mature enough to handle such things only lessens our tolerance, and we probably won’t tell our parents when and if we do fall into a relationship. Not to mention: such relationships help us grow, and help us to see things we would not have before. It makes us strive to become better people, and teaches us many important “life lessons,” as one would call it.

 Even though it might be what parents think love is, it still is love. Albeit “puppy love,” or “young love,” or whatever other names there are for it, to us it is love. And who’s to say it isn’t? It might be a pointless love, it might be an artificial or reckless love, but does that make it anything else other than love? Because if what we feel brings us joy, brings us sorrow, and changes our lives, then it is love, and we should be free to fall in love, no matter the circumstance.

 

       您读后什么感觉?记住来3/27的讲座,您可以自由地把您的问题想法带来。


Xiaorui Sherry Wang
 
2010/2/26 Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>
 

昨天的Email发出后就有人打电话,发Email来问讲座时间是不是改了。特此向大家抱歉:我们的讲座时间地点都不变。

是我最后打字粗心没检查就发出去了,造成了误会。我们明天晚上的聚会是我们的小讲员们的准备会。他们几乎每两周会聚一次筹划3/27的讲座。为他们加油。

下面的博文是一个四个孩子的妈妈写的。做妈妈的为了孩子“呕心沥血”,而做teenager的孩子还挑剔妈妈的言语。妈妈“忍无可忍”的情况下,你猜猜孩子的反应是什么?
 

老妈发威
 

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

这个SUMMER, 真够忙的, 老大上午在De Anza College选一门课, 晚上在Foot Hill College选一门课, 老二又有各种各样的SUMMER CAMP, 双胞胎要去PRESCHOOL.

我每天就象上了发条一样, 穿梭在高速公路上, 接接送送.
中午接完老二接老大, 中午两个人就讨论到哪个餐馆就餐, 印度餐, 泰国餐, 越南餐, 中国餐, 美国餐, 老妈我也享受这三人就餐时的调侃快乐时光, 就指哪打哪.

一天晚间接完老大在车上, 询问他最近的APPLY COLLEGE的准备情况, 他哼哼哈哈的, 不爱回答,
我就追加讯问, 再追加, 他极不耐烦: 妈妈, 我不爱听你用这种口气说话.

老妈我一听, 火窜上心头, 看着身边这个不大不小的TEENAGER, 在忍住还是发火之间犹豫了几秒,
跟着内心的感觉, 火瞬间爆发:

你要接要送, 一个电话, 妈妈就火速赶到,
你要吃这吃那, 一个指令, 咱们就出发,
好, 轮到老妈问你问题了, 你想回答就回答, 不想回答就不回答?

有本事, 自己快点学车, 别让我接送,
有本事, 自己挣钱去, 想吃啥吃啥,
那个时候再跟我说口气不口气的......

我霹雳啪啦的没打半个咯, 象机关枪扫射一样, 把子弹一唆子打完,
老大坐在车上, 看着我, 没说话, 表情有点尴尬.

第二天中午, 接完两个, 我根本没征求他们的意见, 直接把车开到一个他们平时不太喜欢吃的便当
店, 吃吧, 今天只有这个.

我想让他们知道, 妈妈也是有七情六绪的, 妈妈也有发威的权利.

两个人静静的吃饭, 看着他们那小样, 我忍不住把我发威的缘由再唠叨一遍, 只不过, 这次不是机关枪扫射.

老大笑了, 拍拍我, 说, "妈妈, 你应该向爸爸学习."
WHY? 我不解
"爸爸生气一会儿就好了, 你一生气就一天啊, 这样对身体不好."
"知道对妈妈身体不好, 就少惹我生气, 看我生气了, 也要知道怎么哄妈妈不生气, 这才是你的本事. "

老大笑着转向老二说, 想想吧, 怎样才能哄妈妈不生气......

老二跑过来, 给了一个甜甜的HUG.
老大酷酷的给我拢拢头发.

我的气, 散了, 威, 撤了,
可是不能保证以后就不发威了!

怎么样?我们玩不过孩子的。
3月27日,让我们一起来认识这个伟大的妈妈和她聪明的儿子。

 
Xiaorui Sherry Wang

 
2010/2/25 Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>

 

朋友们,

过年好。

看了前几篇孩子们写的文章感觉如何?下面是一篇妈妈写的女儿的文章。女儿的作为让妈妈气昏了头,但女儿却说:this is not a big deal!

 

听起来像一个故事

(2009-12-05 11:35:00)
 

   大家好。又到了周末,辛苦的工作终于结束了,让我们喝喝茶,放轻松一下吧。

   上一篇博文,我们谈到了品格的培养、界限的设定对孩子成长的重要性。写完以后,红花联想到了家中曾经发生的一件事情,愿意写出来和大家分享感受。

   这是一件真实的家庭经历,但是,听起来却像是一个故事:

   时间是今年年初的一个周末。那天女儿表现得很乖。她自觉地收拾了自己的房间,主动做完了功课,还像模像样地坐在钢琴边弹起了练习曲。我和老公虽然不动生色,心里却有些好奇,因为她今天的表现,有点像太阳从西边出来一样,着实有违她平时叛逆不逊的性格。

   做完了份内的事情后,女儿问我们,晚上可不可以到她的朋友杰娜家过夜度周末(Sleepover )。杰娜是女儿的好朋友,高女儿一个年级,家境富裕,住在更好的社区。我去过杰娜家,见识过那座豪华的大房子,也结识了杰娜的妈妈 --- 一位受过高等教育的全职家庭主妇。交谈中了解到,她的丈夫是一名律师,杰娜目前在一所私立教会学校读高中。可以看出,杰娜是生活在有教养的家庭。

   看见女儿今天表现那么乖,我和老公就同意了女儿的要求。下午五点多钟的时候,女儿收拾了睡袋和换洗的衣服,老公开车把她送到了杰娜的家里。

   孩子他爹回到家后,我问他,有没有见到杰娜的父母亲? 老公说没有。他只是把女儿放在杰娜家门口,亲眼看见杰娜出来开门迎接的女儿,他就开车离开了。我心中责怪男人办事情粗心大意,心里有一种隐隐的不安。到了晚上,我打了一个电话给女儿,问她要一个杰娜家里的电话号码。女儿在电话那头和杰娜叽里咕噜地说了话,过了一会儿,她给了我们一个电话号码。我抄下了号码,似乎也放下了心。一夜无话。

   星期天早上大约八点钟光景,家里的电话铃响起。我接起电话。电话是女儿打来的。她的声音听起来不像是一夜没有睡觉的兴奋异常,也不是睡眠不够的无精打采,反而是一钟惴惴不安的紧张和理亏。只听她在电话那头说:“你和爸爸可以来杰娜家一趟吗?就是现在,马上。杰娜的妈妈要和你讲话。”

   随即,电话那头传来杰娜妈妈的声音:“不好意思打扰你们。麻烦你们夫妇俩都来我家里一趟,我有要紧的事情要告诉你们。”

   放下电话,我和孩子他爹一路忐忑不安地开车到了杰娜家,左思右想,都想不出来到底发生了什么事情。

   按了门铃,来开门的正是杰娜的妈妈。屋里还有一对夫妻,看样子也是接到电话赶紧赶过来的。杰娜、女儿,还有另外一个同龄女孩都坐在客厅的沙发上。杰娜在抹眼泪,女儿正怯怯地看着我们默不作声。

   杰娜妈妈首先向我们大人道歉,说是没有管教好女儿,然后,她指着沙发上的三个女孩子对我们说:“也许你们根本不相信,昨天晚上这三个人根本没有睡在家里。她们在公园里过了一夜。”

   看见我们大吃一惊、不知就里的神色,杰娜妈妈一边叹气,一边摇头地告诉我们,有谁会相信,这三个孩子竟然胆大包天,一次欺骗了四个家庭。

   事情的始末是这样的:

   周末的时候,杰娜的父母亲要去旧金山办事情,晚上赶不回来,必须要在旧金山住一个晚上。为了怕独生女儿独自在家里不安全,就打电话告诉邻居照顾杰娜一下,顺便在邻居家过一个晚上。杰娜夫妇离开不久,杰娜马上打电话给我家女儿和另外一个女朋友,约她们来家里过夜度周末,并打电话告诉邻居说晚上不过去了。等到两个女孩子到了杰娜家里以后,她们看了电视,吃了东西,聊了聊天,突然就感到很无聊。杰娜提议,想不想晚上带上睡袋,到住家附近的公园里去过一个晚上。两个女孩子听杰娜那么一说,又好奇又刺激,当场就拿起睡袋和枕头,跑到了公园里。

   事情说来也是很巧,杰娜父母出门没有多久,就发现一个重要的东西忘记在了家里,于是他们又折返回家取东西。那个时候,天色已经很黑了。当经过住家附近的公园的时候,他们听见公园里传来女孩子欢快放肆的大笑,还有在树林里穿梭跑跳的声音。当时杰娜妈妈还纳闷:这么晚了,还有谁家的女孩子在公园里疯疯傻傻地又叫又跑不睡觉。回到家,他们发现女儿不在家里,以为她已经按照吩咐去了邻居的家过夜,于是也没有猜疑,拿上东西又上路去旧金山了。

   整个晚上,僻静的公园属于了这三个女孩子。她们像没有束缚的脱缰野马一样,在公园里奔跑跳跃,尽情地撒野。他们拿着手电筒,照夜晚飞出来的小蛾子,草丛里的小虫子、小蚯蚓。玩儿累了以后,他们躺在睡袋上看满天的星星,看浩瀚的银河,直到眼皮子实在支撑不动的时候,才钻进睡袋里沉沉地睡去。

   到了凌晨四、五点钟的时候,公园里的自动灌溉机开始浇灌草坪。喷出的水像急雨一样洒到了酣睡入梦的三个女孩子身上,把她们淋的一个激灵,全都醒了,吓得她们“哇哇”大叫着跑出了睡袋。

   睡袋已经淋湿,草地是湿漉漉的一片。凌晨的寒气袭来,冻得她们瑟瑟发抖。她们睡意全消,却感到异常的饥饿。杰娜提议说,麦当劳是二十四小时营业,于是,三个女孩开始走路,到很远的麦当劳去吃早点。可以想象,初春的黎明,天色微明,三个少女,穿着睡衣睡裤,睡眼惺忪,走在寂静的街头,穿过一个个红绿灯,呼吸着新鲜的空气,去一个叫做麦当劳的店里吃早餐的情景。

   她们一直待在麦当劳到天色大亮,街上车辆行人多起来。休息的差不多了以后,她们才开始原路往杰娜家走去。快到家门口的时候,正好和办完事情开车经过她们身旁的杰娜父母亲碰个正着。

   这就是事情的始末,听起来是不是像一个故事?

   我把电话号码给杰娜妈妈看,杰娜妈妈说这不是他们家的电话号码,是杰娜的手机号码。其实,自从三个女孩子打算在公园睡觉以后,她们都关掉了手机,怕的就是父母亲的打扰。
 

   当然,杰娜的父母行使了做父母的权利,对违背界限的女儿实行了处罚,那就是:取消一个月的娱乐活动,没有电视、电话、电脑、电影,也没有朋友之间的来往。放学回家,做功课,做父母让她做的各种家务。惩罚时间为期一个月。

   我们去公园捡回丢在那里的湿睡袋,押解着女儿回家。我和老公都语重心长地和孩子谈话,希望她能认识到这次行为的错误所在,让她认识到,她不仅仅是隐瞒实情到公园过夜,而且欺骗父母。苦口婆心,女儿不说话,只是点头。我和老公真不知道她是真的听进去了,还是逢场作戏。当然,我和孩子他爹最后也对女儿作了相同的惩罚规定。女儿甘愿受罚。

   后来,我问过女儿,她的感受是什么,她回答说,没有父母管教,享受到了从未有过的自由,开心又刺激。最难忘的,是看见了最灿烂耀眼的繁星闪烁。当然,睡在睡袋里很不舒服,被水淋湿的滋味很痛苦,还有挨饿,还有走很远的路。。。

   我又问她,有没有感到害怕和危险,她摇头说没有。“我们都从家里带了菜刀藏在了枕头底下,如果有坏人敢欺负我们,我们就用刀砍他。”她的话让我和先生倒吸一口冷气。

   我想说的是,设立界限是一个多么重要的事情。作为父母亲,责任就是保护和守卫孩子。而正在成长的孩子,他们并不知道是非、安危、好坏、生死,也不会想到他们的行为会带来什么结果。在他们眼里,逃避管束,自由自在,寻求刺激和冒险,怎样满足自己的欲望怎样来,全然不考虑作父母的心情和感受,只有在陷入危险之中,才感到缺乏智慧,而那时,悲剧已经发生,后果不堪设想。

   怎样管教青少年叛逆期的孩子,怎样给她们设立界限,实在是一门大学问。如果给孩子太少的自由去获取经验,他们就永远像个孩子一样没有人生的阅历;但给他们太多自由,而他们又没有掌握到保护自己的智慧,就会有伤害到自己的危险。自由和限制,难!难!难!
 

   也许,保守的想法总是要好一些。宁可让孩子在小的时候多有界限,就会让孩子在成年后获得更多的自由和平安。

   每一个生命的成长都是奇迹,每当想到这些,每当想到自己平安地活在这个世界上,我就会由衷地感谢,感谢父母的养育之恩。


如果您是孩子的父母,你会怎么反应?
想看作者更多博文吗?先自己Google一下吧。不着急的话,就等着讲座那天见见这母女俩。

对了,这次讲座已经位满了,不少人在waiting list上。不能参加的朋友一定请打个招呼。谢谢。
后天是这些小讲员已经家长们的有一次meeting。大家有什么期待和问题,建议等等,请发Email给我。我可以转交。

谢谢给这次讲座的赞助者。

力上学院 www.letsacademy. org
柯太龙画室 www.dreamartiststud io.com
99人网 www.99people. com



 
Xiaorui Sherry Wang

 
To: Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>
Cc: Qing Lucich <qlucich@gmail. com>
 

朋友们好,

大家过年好。春节是中国的传统节日。相信在这个时候很多方面会想我们的孩子讲中国的文化。两年前,一对父母为让孩子多了解中国文化,把已是teenager的儿子送回了中国过暑假。但是,结果却大大出乎父母的意料。请看下面文章。大家可以在3/27那天猜猜是那个小讲员写的。
 

If I Could Change One Thing

If I could change one thing in the world, I would rid the world of racism. The horrendous racial discrimination I have encountered in my short life as a Chinese male has infuriated me to act against it even though, ironically, this racism was not directed at me. Let me explain.

When I was fourteen years old, I returned to China for, as my father put it, “a cultural experience”; the idea was that I would be integrated into the Chinese culture, learn about my heritage, and hopefully pick up some experiences I couldn’t have had otherwise if I stayed in America. In China, there were plenty of shows dedicated to game events, sports and sitcoms, but as the days flew by during my initial week in China, I started to notice a disturbing trend in the type of shows that were aired. The most plentiful type of show by far was Chinese dramas revolving around the acts were caused by the Japanese during World War II. In all of these “reenactments”, the Japanese killed, maimed, raped, or abused Chinese civilians. In contrast, the heroes of these shows were always some patriotic and brave Chinese soldiers who courageously resisted these atrocities. Needless to say, the overwhelmingly narrow views entrenched in these shows horrified me. While the Japanese did commit horrendous war crimes during the Second World War, stereotyping Japan as a brutal savage nation would hardly help the relationship between China and Japan.

I decided to find out why Chinese television discriminated against the Japanese in such a way by asking my uncle when he got back from work. His reply shocked me: “Because they deserve it!” He then proceeded to question if there were Japanese students at Lynbrook and whether they were treating the Chinese students unfairly. Such blatantly racist remarks from my uncle, an established doctor with an education from one of the best universities in China, was appalling. I was so stunned that I could not find the words to answer his question. When I returned to America, I returned with a new sense of responsibility. I stopped seeing things through colorblind lens and began to view the world with a critical eye. I have started to act to promote racial integration on a personal level.

I am a debate captain at my high school where the vast majority of students are Asian. The few Caucasian members of the team often feel out of place in a sea of Chinese and Indian teammates. After experiencing the life-changing event in China, I know how isolation can negatively affect people so I often attempt to integrate the white students into our debate team by encouraging team bonding sessions. I frequently take the team out for pizza in hopes of strengthening connections between team members and allowing the interaction between debaters of differing ethnicity. By breaking down social barriers between those who are different, I hope to fight against intolerance like that I encountered in China for ultimately, the racism in the world comes at a cost: the racial tension between China and Japan costs a healthy cultural relationship, the discrimination in the United States costs race riots and civil unrest, and the racially driven strife in Darfur and the Congo costs hundreds of thousands of innocent lives. The costs racial conflict indebts onto the world are terrible ones cause great devastation to pay. That is why if I could change one and only one thing in this world, it would be to rid it of racism.

看完您有什么想法?也出乎您的意料吧。



这次活动我们很高兴得到了以下赞助(时间顺序)

力上学院 www.letsacademy. org
柯太龙画室 www.dreamartiststud io.com
99人网 www.99people. com


谢谢!

xiaorui

 
2010/2/14 Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>

 
一个16岁的高中生如何看待友谊和爱情?

祝大家情人节快乐。

新年快乐。

 
It Takes Two To Be Happy
 

We often go along life taking things for granted. Even the things that are most dear to us we don't know how to appreciate properly. It'll probably be impossible to know exactly how much things are worth to us while we have them, because we only start to evaluate things in their entirety when we lose them. Have you ever met someone who would be able to tell you everything about a friend while the friend is alive? There are things that you just don't see as unique until they pass away.

The purpose here isn't to talk about passing away or anything related. I'm probably straying from the topic here.

Life isn't meant to be lived alone. Just as at least two bodies are required to produce a third quantity in physics, at least two people are required to produce any kind of emotion. It's impossible to feel emotion solely by yourself—everything you see around you shows signs of another person, even if you're not aware of it. Besides, what fun would there be if you did everything alone?

Counting your blessings and your friendships is one of the best things you can do in life and come to terms with things. While sometimes not everything may seem bright, there'll always be friends there to show you what you've been missing out on while you were shedding tears. All of our relationships with others is about changing how they think and influencing. You are the sum of your parts; your parts are made of the people you meet.

In order to make the most of what you have, you have to appreciate and celebrate everything that has been given to you—your friends, your family, your achievements. These are the most important of all. All of these can help you moving through life.

Sometimes you don't even know that you've helped someone for the better. However, these things can really have your friendship shine through anything else that's going on if both of you appreciate what the other person has done for you, intentional or not intentional. The happiness you can get out of your friendships can last for days, and over this time you'll be surprised that you never knew something so great existed.

And now, for a poem and a short thank you letter.
 

Precious
 
It seems like yesterday that we met,
That we didn't meet sooner is something that I fret.
Why we met so late I'll never know,
But for now I never want to let you go.
 
Our story isn't all fun and games,
We've both laid on each other our blames.
I hate the times we would fight,
But now things are much more bright.
 
Your worth to me I know not,
Except that you're the friend for a long time I had sought.
After trying times and lingering laughter,
All I know is you're all I'm after.
 
Now I look back and now I think,
Many happy memories to you I can link.
I'd stay with you forever readily,
For now I think of you as family.
 

Thank you for being with me whenever I needed you, thank you for telling me I was wrong, thank you for the happiness you've brought. Thank you for your cookies, thank you for your hugs, thank you for the sound of your laughter. Thank you for your jokes, thank you for your teasing, thank you for showing me the beauty in music. Thank you for accepting me as I am, thank you for enduring with me, and most of all, thank you for everything. I've never known someone as wonderful as you.

2010/2/12 Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com>

 
 
朋友们,

中国新年和美国的情人节要来了。先给您们一首诗,一首爱情诗,一首这次讲座的高中生讲员的爱情诗。

我会陆陆续续给大家一些和这些小讲员们有关的文章和诗。

给大家拜年了。

Xiaorui


Miss You
 
How many days has it been,
How many sleepless nights?
The days seem so cold,
My thoughts so empty.

Because without you, life isn't the same.
Without you, my heart falls apart.
I miss you, I miss your smile
I miss you, I miss the way that you talk
I miss you, I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the touch of your skin when we'd embrace.

The roads I walk lead to nowhere,
The food I eat brings no strength.
Nothing's the same anymore,
Nothing has colour anymore.

So when will you return?
These hopes refuse to pass,
calling out your name again and again,
screaming,

Without you, life isn't the same.
Without you, my heart falls apart.
I miss you, I miss your smile
I miss you, I miss the way that you talk
I miss you, I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the touch of your skin when we'd embrace.

The times that we shared,
The memories that we birthed,
I'll hold in my heart forevermore.
I'll be waiting and waiting for a glimpse of your face.

So until you return,
These hopes will continue to pray,
whispering your soothing name again and again,
singing,

Without you, life isn't the same.
Without you, my heart falls apart.
I miss you, I miss your smile
I miss you, I miss the way that you talk
I miss you, I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the touch of your skin when we'd embrace.

I'll be waiting forever and ever, waiting for you to come back to me.
I'll be waiting forever and ever, waiting for you to come back to love me.

------------ --------- --------- --------- -

Wrote this, and this time it's not based on anything in my life at all.

 
On Thu, Feb 11, 2010 at 11:36 PM, Xiaorui Wang <xiaoruit@gmail. com> wrote:
 
Dear parents,

Thank you for registering the parents-teen communication seminar. All seats are now booked. A few of you are on the waiting list.

The seven teenagers and the counselor Amy have been working very hard to prepare this workshop.

They need your help and support.

They are conducting a survey which is for teenagers whose parents are Chinese (other Asian families are also OK.) Could you have your teenage children go to http://goo.gl/ RVgQ and take the survay please? You are also welcome to have other teenagers you know fill out the survey. I appreciate for your participation.

The blog in the following link http://blog. creaders. net/Beautyinautu mn/user_blog_ diary.php? did=55134
is written by one of our young speakers' mothers, whose son attends Gunn High School.

Best Regards,
--
Xiaorui Sherry Wang